I once created a Peppermint Patty dollhouse, all pink with pink furniture. I was an adult mother of five.
Crazy stuff! We entertain ourselves as adults thinking we are making the best choices. Was I?
I wish I would have spent more hours with my children.
I wish I could relive my mothering days.
I wish I would have been more attentive and appreciative.
I wish I would have journaled those days.
As with everything I now think oh well, that journal would have been lost in the flood just like every other piece of paper, photo, journal and more!
I believe that I am still reeling from the July 4th flood, 2025 here in the Hill Country of Texas.
It was bad! The emotional adjustments are hidden behind the persona of "I've got this!"
The first six months we lived in an rv and spent days sitting outside our home as it was being rebuilt, almost miraculously. My eldest daughter took charge. She was in daily phone contact with Somebody Cares, the umbrella volunteer organization that spent thousands of dollars to get us back into our home. There were other groups that assisted in the rebuild, Samaritan's Purse, for example.
The home is beautiful and nicer than before the flood. It is completely furnished and the exterior has been repainted and wood replaced also. We are truly blessed.
It is difficult to "just move on." There are days I feel rudderless, doing simple tasks and wondering what I could/should be accomplishing.
My volunteer tasks are often questioned by me, not in a bad way, just as in "why did you take this on?" I want to volunteer. I desire to give back what was so generously given to us. Then I regret committing to more than a few hours weekly. I regret having a "full calendar."
The rest of the days are spent maintaining the house, the yard, practicing my music, weaving (several looms still to be touched) and sitting with my husband.
I don't want to regret these years.
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I seek guidance from my Higher Power, my Lord, my God.
There is power in prayer and I believe that my life would be more meaningful if I spent the early morning praying instead of writing, praying instead of practicing, praying instead of reading, praying instead of ........
And so this prayer life begins.
The value of prayer makes the dollhouse era seem superfluous.
And with prayer will come a Bible verse or two, seeking understandings and how I still can, at eighty-two, grow with God.
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The word of the day today is sturmfrei with a very rich history.
There is a particular feeling that arrives when you realise you finally have the house to yourself.
The rooms seem to widen. The moment opens. The usual routines loosen their grip and, for a little while, the hours belong entirely to you.
The Germans have a word for this feeling: sturmfrei.
https://thecuriouswordemporium.substack.com/p/sturmfrei
I often feel as though I have the house to myself. Often hours belong entirely to me.
I share my home with my 99-year old husband. Sometimes I feel like the activity director.
That is not all bad, is it? I will relish these hours spent with him if I outlive him. I learned that from raising my children as we go full circle. I learned that time with loved ones is the best investment of oneself.
Do you agree?
